There are places...

I see so many positive signs while I plan this trip to Bastar. I’ve got every little thing from my ‘to buy’, ‘to find’ list, and so easily.

My ticket is booked for tomorrow morning and till 2 hours back I didn’t know where I would go and what I would do.

In shifting I’ve lost many big and important things. And I was surprised to see this visiting card of a sculptor from Bastar, suddenly and literally jumping at me from an old bag. I had bought a few sculptures from him about 6/7 months back in Mumbai.
I called the no. on it, and it worked and the person on the other side was more than willing to help me with directions and showing places. The visiting card belonged to his father, who was in Bangalore at the moment. He too called after some time and kind of told me that I’ll be taken care of :-)
Wow!

This is gonna be a great trip! I’ve got many signs for it and now its my turn to return the gesture – I’m gonna buy a digicam today. I’ll make a film there. wow! And yeah, I’ll take some little gifts for the people there! Yesss! I’m so excited!

Sometimes you plan so desperately for some place but for some reason or the other, it never works. And if at all it does someday, it’s not what or how you wanted or had imagined.

There are places you want and sometimes the place doesn’t want you.
And now I realize that there are places you don’t even know about, but the places wait for you, they do want you.

I guess it’s true with people too.

***

Allright,
when a flower grows wild it can always survive,
wild flowers don't care where they grow.

But when a bird's caught in a cage, will it forget to fly?

I feel nervous when I think of travelling alone now

:-/

A strange world

Corporate is a twisted world within world. Far from life but requires humans.

Even before trees drop their flowers down on the ground I doubt that they look around if no security person watches.

Once, life lost its way.
A dog here gave birth to a few puppies. They stayed under a staircase, least used. Puppies are puppies, though their mom was keen on not showing her pregnancy, puppies ran around in the campus playing with people, who were supposed to be robots. All of a sudden one day I can’t see a single puppy here; they chucked them all.
Yeah, how can life grow here? This is corporate
Their mom is tired searching for her kids. Now she lies in a corner without a sound. Looks around sometimes and then lies down hopelessly, helplessly. Donno what they did with the puppies… Hope they only chucked them. Why didn't they chuck the mom too?
Its understandable if you know this world. It is the kids creating the nuisance, so get rid of them; Whether they have a mom or not, how does that matter?

***

Its almost end of the year. Another 10 days and this year will be replaced by another one. Not that it makes a great difference in lives. Or does it? well not really. New years or B'days or anniversaries are more like little breaks in busy lives. I remember I used to be so excited about my B'days while in school. I would start counting days six month before. Now it doesn't matter. May be I'm growing old.
Not being excited about these special days is good in a way, coz you won't be disappointed if you don't get gifts =) LOL

Nevertheless New year does give you an opportunity to retrospect and to plan resolutions for the year ahead, no matter if you keep them or not!

Last many days have been kind of out of focus. Too many things clouding the mind, too many days occupying the day… OK, more on this some other time.

***

wildflower

Have you heard this song by Dolly Parton & Linda Ronstadt & Emmylou Harris ?

When a flower grows wild,
it can always survive
Wildflowers don't care where they grow

I put this track on repeat and listened to, all my way to office today.

I just never belong, I just long to be gone...

***

I want to rest now
Or do I want to escape?

I wanna go back..
to where I came from
to how I used to be
to the same old warm little home
to find everyone there just like I left them a few years back

go back to the same old days
to the same lunatic friends
be with the familiar
be where I used to be

or

go to a place, never heard of?
take a route, never noticed before
see people, never seen before
do things, never done before
paint the roads for a living,
paint them with bizarre messages and graphics
have no place or person to call my own
smile and speak with everyone ‘coz everyone is equally alien

May be I should go in search of Azzaro,
the wandering spirit child
even if I don’t find him
I would have lived through many of his worlds

Fuckall place :-D

Am I in the wrong place doin right things
or am I in a right place, not playing the right games?
Well but then no game is ever right :-)

'I found my voice', I thought for a moment...
and before I could hum, it faded out

Another old post.

Why can’t someone just step in and say, That’s It. Its all a MisFit. It should all Stop At Once.

A guy who can’t feed his family is trying to get a job in IT? Why? For what?
Is it a basic need?
There are so many important jobs and so much more easily accessible, available work for him.
Why do people wish to join IT companies when their experience is required somewhere else more critically, and when all they need is just to make both ends meet.
Why do they need to speak English when they actually might even be… beggars?

Why are so many farmers killing themselves for a loan for 20K and so many IT companies getting more funds?
Isn’t a farmer’s job more important than us? Doesn’t he actually feed us?

***

Interview

[an old post - ]
At 5 PM when I’m just wrapping up the work at office, HR comes to me with a dark, young guy and tells me to interview him, for a post that’s already been filled.

I quickly glanced through his resume. This 24 yr old was HSC pass with some Diploma in animation and just 2 months experience on hand.

He couldn’t join an art school coz of financial problem and right now had no work at hand.


I interviewed him just so that he feels OK, actually to complete the formalities of filling up the assessment form too, that HR wanted.

He wasn’t familiar with the interview process, not good with communication, not much work to show… No questions to ask me, about the work or company.

He did ask me if he fits in, and I answered honestly.

I told the HR that this seems like a needy and honest guy and suggested that we forward his resume to another team working in print etc.
Well I left him there…
How much ever I tell myself not to think so… I do feel that I saw water in his eyes.

***

Magical smiles

A beggar knocked on the window at a signal today. She had a small baby tied to her shoulder and resting on her waist. I usually I don’t trust these beggars with babies coz you never know if it’s stolen and if they are being used for begging.

This lady’s face was dark and sad, and she continuously stared at me through the glass. To really see if the baby was her, I tried to check their features, and they matched :-) There was a similarity in their faces. In fact the baby was smiling as she begged. It kept looking at her, and at every eye contact it smiled. Sweet smiling baby.

I gave her some money. Just before she would leave, I asked her to stay and took some pictures of her and the baby on my cell. I showed her the pictures and Look! Surprise! Her eyes sparkled and shined! She looked at her baby and showed the pic to him. I gave her few more coins. She left with a smile. I know the smile wasn’t for the coins.

***

The statues change, people change but all in all they create the same kind of mess.
If I become a president for a day, the first thing I would do is remove all the statues in India, and instead have a few good libraries.

***

Shut up you outrageous, rebellious heart; put on the headphones and listen to the song!

Even after so many years of them passing away mum still sees her mom n dad in her dreams. She still is a little girl, my mum

***